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How to be a Virtuous Woman: Or, how about a Crabby Woman? a Messy Woman?

How to be a Virtuous Woman

Would you like to be a Virtuous Woman? I would. I am not even sure what it means to be a Virtuous Woman. Having Virtue sounds like a good thing to have. I know how to be a Crabby Woman and I have lots of practice being a Messy Woman.

The  on-line Oxford Dictionary says that virtue is behavior showing high moral standards. Aurelius Clemens Prudentius, a Roman Christian Poet talks about the seven heavenly virtues in his poem Psychomachina, Battle For Man’s Soul.  King Solomon talks about virtue in the Bible in Proverbs.

Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out.
Proverbs 10:9 – King Solomon

I would like to walk with integrity. I would like to have sound moral principles and not make crooked paths. Right now I am fairly skilled at being crabby and messy.

How to be a Crabby Woman

  1. Never forgive.
  2. Hold grudges, and be bitter about it too.
  3. Think mean thoughts.
  4. Talk harshly.
  5. Never smile, not even at a funny joke.
  6. Point out the faults of others.
  7. Complain and whine all the time.
  8. Never say thank-you.

How to be a Messy Woman

  1. Never put anything away.
  2. Don’t clean up right after you cook, let the pots sit on the counter until the end of the week.
  3. Vacuum only if you know company is coming.
  4. Let the dog clean up the food you dropped.
  5. Sweep the kitchen floor when the spilled rice starts to sprout.
  6. Leave the clean laundry in the hamper, don’t fold it and put it away.
  7. Eat your supper out of the pot.
  8. Never brush your dog so it sheds everywhere in the house.
  9. Grow radishes in the dust on the window ledge.

How to be a Virtuous Woman

 I know I need to have integrity to be a Virtuous Woman. Amy Rees Anderson in an article in Forbes, Success Will Come and Go, But Integrity is Forever, said, “Integrity means doing the right thing at all times and in all circumstances, whether or not anyone is watching.”

King Lemuel talks about The Wife of Noble Character in Proverbs 31 in the Bible.  She gets up while it still dark, cooks and makes garments she sells. She is respected by her husband.

The woman in Proverbs 31 isn’t sitting reading her bible in the morning and letting her children go hungry. The woman in Proverbs 31 isn’t throwing a microwaved meal at her husband and children while she runs off to a committee meeting at night.

The woman in Proverbs 31 takes care of her family .

She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Proverbs 31:27-30

Well, it looks like I have to work harder. It is time to get the roast out of the freezer and fold the laundry. And where did Martha our dog go? She needs to be brushed. It appears I have been eating the bread of idleness. Today I will eat a different kind of bread. After I pray for wisdom, that is.

Do you know how to be a virtuous woman? What bread did you eat today?

The bread of idleness

Please let me know in the comments. I could use some help.

About Pamela Hodges

My name is Pamela Hodges. I am a writer and an artist. I write to encourage and to bring laughter. I paint cats, draw cartoons and write books for children and grown ups.

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18 Replies

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  5. Have you read A Year Of Biblical Womanhood? I am for a book club. Last week they discussed how the P31 model was actually a poem, with each line starting with the next letter of the Hebrew Alphabet. The author said something (to the effect), about her Jewish friend who told her American women miss the point. It isn’t our goal to live by, in her culture it is something the men memorize to say to the woman. sort of a pat on the back and “great effort” kind of thing. i had never heard that…

  6. I think a big part of virtuous means being real about our crabbiness and/or messiness. I’m pretty good at the being real part. But then the leaving it behind part is a little more difficult. Good wisdom here, friend. Thanks for it.

  7. I don’t know about virtuous I learn by my mistakes it is only human nature to make mistakes, how would we learn anything? It is something that comes after life experience I don’t think you are born with it and it is all about the choices we make in life I prefer to be a non-judgemental, compassionate woman, take me with the good and the bad. Thanks for sharing Pamela.

  8. margaret simon

    I wish I could post a picture of my new kitty with this comment. He is pawing all over this comment. I don’t believe that our virtue is about what we do; it’s who we are. Do you know Mary Oliver’s poem “Wild Geese?” It saved my life. “You do not have to be good….Let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.” I enjoy your creativity and honesty.

    1. Thank you Margaret. I want to meet your kitty. Oh, and you are so right. Our virtue is not what we do, it is who we are. Now I have to find the poem, “Wild Geese.” My step-grandmother’s name was Mary Oliver, but I think she is a different Mary.
      What is your kitten’s name. My cat’s names are Pooh, Charlie, Nepeta and JR.

      1. margaret simon

        Mary Oliver is a poet you should get to know.

        My cats are Bill and Buzz outside and Mimi inside. This new kitty will be going to his forever home today, but I’ve been calling him Little Buddy. He loves to be on my lap. I also have a schnoodle named Charlie. He’s really the love of my life. I enjoy reading Pooh’s posts. He’s such a clever cat.

  9. Janelle

    You are an honest woman! That’s what I love about you and about your writing. And honesty is the best beginning for all good things! Have a great on-the-road-to-virtuous day, Pamela!

    1. Thank you Janelle. My day started out crabby and then moved into virtuous when I fed my children and cleaned up a few messes. I didn’t sew any linen garments today, but I did bring my husband a glass of water when he mowed the lawn.

  10. Love your post, Pamela. I believe virtuous womanhood is about becoming. No woman is born with a “perfect” gene. Not even Lady Virtue of P31. That’s good news for us! Reclaiming Virtuous Womanhood defines what makes my heart beat passionately. It’s how I help woman through my writing ministry: http://www.todaysladyvirtue.com.

    Becoming virtuous is about a pathway. Following God’s time-tested road signs that point to beautiful, virtuous womanhood. True beauty begins with fearing Him (Proverbs 1:7, 9:10). Ever-knowing God begets more becoming. Becoming is indefinite, ongoing.

    On the sour-lemon side, what halts becoming is apathy, non-acceptance of God’s word, disobedience, idleness, indifference, unforgiveness. We can only grow virtuous as far as we’re willing to follow God.

    But if you’re making lemonade with all lemons tossed at your wonderful gift of womanhood, positively (for God’s kingdom and glory) a virtuous woman holds potential to never stop becoming more virtuous. Until she dies or Jesus comes back to take her past Cloud 9–whichever one comes first–a virtuous woman can continue becoming more virtuous. Counterculturally, a virtuous woman gets better with age! :) More good news.

    What bread did I eat today? Isaiah 37-39 and after that, Organic Sprouted Wheat. :)

    “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” (Proverbs 31:30).

    1. Hello Shannon, thank you for stopping by to give some Virtuous Woman suggestions.
      Did you toast your bread or eat it plain?
      Thank you for the link to your blog. :)

  11. Shelley

    Oh, Pamela. You are so funny. I’m not virtuous either. And, my integrity? Hmm. We won’t go there. I can say, I haven’t eaten the bread of idleness, yet. That’s a plus. But, then..it’s early.

    1. Hello Shelley. How did you do today? I decided to bake a chicken instead of a roast. Now to go and fold laundry.

      1. Shelley

        I was a busy beaver! Finished painting my bedroom (well, I did miss a spot and have to go back), made roast for dinner, lots of laundry, and did not sit down one time to play Temple Run on my phone app. I’m improving!

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